Secrets in the Snow by Emma Heatherington

Author:Emma Heatherington [Heatherington, Emma]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2020-08-05T17:00:00+00:00

21.

By the time we get closer to the village of Breena, a harbour town located not far from the famous Glens of Antrim overlooking the Irish Sea, we’ve well recovered from Aidan’s revelation, not to mention our moment of discomfort beforehand, and we’ve covered a lot more about our past lives, loves, and fears.

It’s funny how riding in a car with someone on any sort of a lengthy journey can spark off the deepest of conversations. The hum of the road, the faint company of the music, and the carefree ways of being out of your own environment can often lead to some pretty interesting chat. I’ve always found it happens with Ben too. There’s nothing like a road trip to loosen the conversation cogs and get two people really talking and, although I’m nervous, I find myself talking about how I wished I’d had the courage to leave my marriage to the one person who almost ruined me – Jude.

‘I was too afraid, so I really admire your decision,’ I say to Aidan, now that he has opened up about his own marital situation. ‘I just couldn’t bring myself to take that step even though I was screaming inside to escape.’

‘That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling, Roisin,’ he says, with such animation. ‘I was putting on a front – an act, and I couldn’t keep it going any longer.’

It’s as though we’ve both released a valve of admission and relief where we can’t say enough about how good it feels to be free.

‘I lived in such denial, walking on eggshells around someone who I can see now was controlling my every move,’ I confess to Aidan. ‘He was like a ticking time bomb, always ready to explode, and it took me a long time to recover from the emotional damage he caused me. Mabel played a big part in helping me move on from it all. I’ll never forget her for that.’

Telling Aidan about my marriage is like ripping open a book from the past, tearing through well-fingered pages, wearing them out all over again and reading aloud a story that is normally so painful to tell, but with him lending me his ear it seems so much easier.

‘My husband, Jude, told me he was my saviour after my very turbulent childhood where I longed for my mother to stay sober enough to love me,’ I tell him, trying to ignore the lump that has formed in my throat as my past threatens to choke me again. ‘She did her best, that’s what I’ve been told to tell myself. She could only ever do her best.’

Aidan listens without judgement and only ever asks questions when he thinks they’re the type I’m comfortable with giving an answer to. He knows when to prod, when I want to open up more, and he knows when to pull back and let me leave out parts of my life with no big analysis or explanation.

‘Roisin, I’d never have guessed that about you at all,’ he says, his strong arms steering us along the road to Breena.

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